Breaking Etiquette

We are planning our wedding to be a very formal affair. We want all the formalities of a black tie event usually reserved for Saturday nights, only ours will be Sunday afternoon.  So, we are kind of breaking some etiquette rules here.

On our invitations, we have specified that our event will be Black Tie Optional.  Sunday afternoons don't usually come across to guests as formal, and we want our guests to be aware that our wedding is going to be the kind of event where they can break out their fancy clothes and dancing shoes, and we are inviting them dress their best.  Our bridal party ladies will be wearing long formal dresses and we want our guys to be just as sharp in tuxedos. 

However, upon reading up on etiquette, black tie traditionally means a tuxedo that is black or navy.  Despite being one of our wedding colors, Mr. Ly isn't exactly very fond of the color navy (that's how much he loves me!).  So that leaves us with black tuxedos, and I have this thing about black and navy that stems from something kind of dumb back in high school from my junior prom - it's kind of a long story. I know they look fine together, and it doesn't matter, but I would prefer that the guys wear something other than black.  But it was more important to me that the guys would be in tuxedos, if we couldn't find a suitable alternative - black tuxedos with gray vests would have won. But modern formal wear has come a long way. Enter: the gray tuxedo.  While it doesn't fit the etiquette criteria of "black tie optional," it does fit our colors.  

Men's Warehouse has these new gray tuxedos by Vera Wang:  

BLACK by Vera Wang, image via Men's Warehouse

This is exactly what I want for our wedding, maybe a tad darker. But this fit the bill.  We do like working with local vendors where we can, and try to avoid large chains.  If we couldn't find another option, we definitely would have gone this route, but we wanted to shop around locally to see what we could find. 

We began working with a local tuxedo company, and when I first told them that we were looking for either gray or navy, they showed us a very light gray tuxedo, and didn't have dark gray or navy available. We were told that the darker gray and navy had been around but were discontinued.  I was so disappointed, but I knew there was still the option of the Men's Warehouse Vera Wang gray tuxedo. The salesman we are working with, however, has been very amenable and has sought out more options for us than he originally thought possible.  

This is the first option he found for us, which was the one they had in the store, but was much too light. 

Grey Savoy Tuxedo / Image via Jim's Formal Wear

I didn't think this was the best option for our wedding.  I was very disappointed but willing to make concessions if need be. I let him know that I would prefer a darker color, and he went straight to work on finding us some options.  He sent us the following two options:

Midnight Blue Suit / Image via Jim's Formal Wear

Since Mr. Ly would rather not wear navy (he would if there wasn't a suitable gray option), we put this one aside.  Thankfully, we had just one more option.

Steel Grey Savoy Tuxedo / Image via Jim's Formal Wear

This is exactly the color and style we are looking for. We are planning on going will the matching full back vest, and a navy tie. 

Full Back Steel Grey Vest / Image via Jim's Formal Wear

I'm think this will tie together the look of the girls in their shades of blues and grays, and will still come across with the formality that we are planning on with our black tie wedding. 

Our tuxedo vendor has really shown us that he is dedicated to finding us the tuxedos to suit our needs (pun, intended), and we love the personal touch that comes with working a small company rather than a large chain.  We (hopefully) will end up with exactly what we want, and Mr. Ly and his men will be dressed to impress.  

So even though there may be not any actual black ties at our wedding, do you think these gray tuxes will be an appropriate substitution?