Timeless

Here is something I hear a lot of brides say: "I want my wedding to be timeless..." I get what they mean, really. But I don't believe anything in a wedding is timeless, not in the way that brides want it to be.  What I think most people really want is to look back on their wedding pictures and not think "what was I thinking?" I think weddings can be classically beautiful, but in 50 years, your wedding pictures will look 50 years old.

The only thing that is relatively timeless about weddings is the act of getting married. And even that has changed shape and style many times over in the recent past. We are people who grow and change with the times - it is only expected that our traditions and customs change with them.  (i.e. first looks, self uniting ceremonies, even interfaith weddings)

Here is a photo of my grandmother from her engagement photos back in 1944

Photo by Gimbels Department Store

Beautiful? Yes.  Timeless? No.

Nature is timeless (mostly), I can take a picture of a mountain or a forest, and in 10, 20, 30 years even - save any natural disasters or people - the landscape will look relatively the same.  People are not timeless, nor should we put the expectation on our wedding to be.

My grandparents (on the right) at a family wedding in the 1950s

I couldn't find any family wedding photos from the 1960s, but here's one of my grandparents going out on the town!

My parents' wedding, 1973, with her bridesmaids in mismatched dresses

My aunt's wedding in 1983

I'm sure you see where I am going with this.  Here is a span of 5 decades of pictures, and are all these photos beautiful? To me, yes. Is there anything inherently awful about any of these photos? I don't think so. Maybe the 70's were too casual or the 80's too glam, but I love how these photos have shaped my vision of what history looks like in my family. I don't want to emulate any of these photos in my own wedding.  I want my wedding to be beautiful and of it's time and the photos will capture that.  I love the way each photo stands on it's own - and trust me no one looks at any of these photos and thinks - wow, that could have been just last year. 

You might want your wedding to be classic or traditional or modern or rustic or elegant or glamourous or retro - any of these things. But timeless is something that none of these things are.  My wedding will look like 2013, and whatever weddings look like in 50 years, it won't look like mine.

Who agrees that there is nothing timeless about a wedding, save the very act of marriage itself, and we should just embrace the styles of our time?  What do you think our kids will look back on today and think, "OMG (or whatever kids will say then) that was so 2010s?"

A Nectar Moon, Take 2

Remember a long long time ago, when I told you how we would be booking our mini-moon (dubbed "Nectar Moon" by Mr. Ly) through Groupon or LivingSocial or some other flash sale travel site?  Yeah... that didn't happen.

As we got closer and closer to the 100 day mark, I got more and more nervous that we didn't have a place set yet for our Nectar Moon. I looked through as many travel sites as I could think of from Cheap Caribbean to Groupon to JetSetter (through Gilt) and every other travel site out there. The prices for January, when they were even available, were WAY more than we were hoping to spend... or the resort had terrible ratings for the rooms and/or food and/or staff, or was somehow tied to a timeshare company (one of the one things we did NOT want for our short trip was to be hassled to sit through a sales pitch!).  So, we were left with a few options - the first being to not go away.  I definitely did not like this option, at all. The second option was to go somewhere close/driveable. And the third option was to up our budget and splurge on our Nectar Moon.  We went for option three. When we originally budgeted for our 4 day trip, we wanted to spend about $2,000 on everything including airfare, taxes, tips, and all food & drinks.  This seemed doable, and truth be told, if we were less picky about the resorts we were willing to stay at, we could have most definitely done this.  After my failed LivingSocial deal, I decided I would just hand over the responsibility to Mr. Ly and let him choose where we would go.

In the end, he ended up going through a travel agent and we are going to be heading to the warm beaches of Jamaica for 4 glorious days and nights of all-inclusive goodness.  It only ended up being a few hundred dollars higher than we originally budgeted, and by going through a travel agent, we didn't have to pay the full amount all at once, like we would have had we booked it online/through a flash sale site. This made it even more manageable, and we decided almost immediately where we wanted to go!

Sandals Grande Riviera in Ocho Rios is where we'll be spending our first few days as husband and wife(!!).  I hope the skies are this blue and the water this inviting when we're there, I absolutely can not wait. I like that we are going to an adults only, well known all-inclusive.  We didn't need anything super fancy, or something that breaks the mold - It's both of our first time staying at an all-inclusive, and we didn't want to have a lousy experience. Sandals is definitely well known and well liked.

Sandals Grande Riviera in Ocho Rios

The beach at Sandals Grande Riviera in Ocho Rios

Sandals Grande Riviera in Ocho Rios

This is the style/level room we'll be staying in.  We don't need anything fancy for the 4 days we're there, a bed, a bathroom, so long as it's clean and comfortable - we don't plan on spending a ton of time here, but enough that we want it to be nice. The bath was the most important thing to me - I LOVE big jacuzzi tubs, and that was probably my only requirement.  

The Great House Oceanview Room at Sandals Grande Riviera 

The balcony of the Great House Oceanview Room at Sandals Grande Riviera 

So while we tried to save some money by booking through a sale site, we've found that by expanding our budget a bit, we were able to get a much higher quality of resort for not too much more than we would've got on our own.  There are a few areas where I truly believe you end up getting what you pay for in quality, and after seeing what our "cheaper" options were, I wasn't ready to risk our Nectar Moon in a dump!

Any recommendations on what to do while we're in Ocho Rios? We don't really plan on leaving the resort (4 days of eating, drinking and sleeping in the sun is all that our agenda has on it currently!), but we could be swayed by some good suggestions!

You're Next.

Before Hurricane Sandy brought her wrath to the East Coast,  my family celebrated this weekend the wedding of my little brother and my now sister-in-law! I am using the time while we still have power to blog, as Mr. Ly is using this time to battle a bear in Skyrim. I hope everyone who is in the path of Sandy is safe and sound, and mostly dry.  I am particularly freaked out by the severity of the storm, but as long as I have power, I am going to use my time wisely and I need something to keep my mind busy! Recapping our last unmarried wedding as guests is the perfect distraction.

As Miss Gray Wolf recently blogged about, when you attend a wedding close to your own, you notice things that you might not take notice of otherwise.  The details that, as brides, we spend hours obsessing over go unnoticed by many a wedding guest - unless you are planning your own wedding!  My sister-in-law and I are very different types of brides (for one, I don't think she's ever been on the 'bee) and had very different visions for our weddings from the start.  I have tried not to compare our weddings, but as you can imagine, when you have two family members getting married just 3 months apart, it's hard not to.  My brother's wedding was more of your rustic/barnyard feel with lots of mason jars and wooden touches. The venue was spectacular and my sister-in-law did a really excellent job putting her vision together!

(all photos personal)

A good shot of the venue, Pomme,  set up for the ceremony which was later transformed info the reception space 

Seating Chart made with an old wooden frame & chicken wire, mini clothespins holding them

Center Pieces and table numbers - Mason Jars with daisies on wood that was burned by the bride 

Our wedding is not rustic at all, but despite our different visions, we will have some similarities at our wedding.  For one, we are using the chuppah that my sister-in-law's father made for their wedding.  How's that for something borrowed? It's a gorgeous structure made out wood that came from the town that my sister-in-law was named after, and covered in a tallis (Jewish prayer shawl) from my dad's cousin. It's a beautiful blending of families, and I will proudly marry Mr. Ly underneath it. We will be adding more flowers to the front, and draping it with white fabric, but being married under the same chuppah as my brother is a great honor that I am not going to pass up!

My brother breaking the glass at the end of their ceremony

Also, some of our vendors are the same. We are using the same florist and the same DJ company. My brother had a different DJ than we do, but he still did a great job of keeping the dance floor packed all night!

Oh, and cake.  What would a Lyre event be without an amazing cake?  Yes, MOH Diane made my brother's wedding cake which was, as always, gorgeous and delicious (chocolate cake with peanut butter buttercream).

Finally, as you might guess, my brother's guest list and ours look fairly similar (at least our half of the list) and most, if not all, of our family members will be attending both of our weddings. Mr. Ly and I had a prediction of how many times we would hear "You're next..." from our relatives and family friends. My prediction was 40 times, and Mr. Ly predicted 30.  We both overshot it, but we think we heard it about 25 times, and if you count the variations or people asking us "Are you all set?" it probably would be closer to my 40.  Seriously, all set? We have almost 3 months left, people! I just smiled and said things are coming along nicely, and tried to change the conversation.  While I usually enjoy talking about our wedding plans, this weekend was neither the time or place for that.  I wanted to focus this weekend on my brother and his wife, and their marriage.

We had an amazing time at my brother's wedding - and if our wedding is even half as fun as my brother's, we'll be set! Let's just hope we don't follow suit with the natural disasters surrounding the wedding weekend - no blizzards please!

We're next! 

Now that the weekend is over, it really has started to hit me that we are next!  I had my first anxiety dream last night, which coupled with the anxiety I was already feeling about the hurricane didn't provide the best night's sleep.  Now we'll just have to weather the storm and see what the next few days bring. Please stay safe, bees!

Anyone else go to a wedding this weekend? Married brides - do you still compare weddings to your own after you are married?

The Suite Life

When deciding where our guests would stay the night of our wedding, we wanted somewhere close to the Curtis Center, so if it is nice out our guests could walk to and from the wedding if they wanted.  One of my bridesmaids got married a few years ago at the Downtown Club, which is right next to the Curtis Center. After her wedding, we stayed at the Omni Hotel, and walked through Independence Park back to the hotel, which was the perfect way to end the night. Once we settled on our venue, I knew the Omni was going to be our best option. We immediately blocked a group of rooms for our guests to stay.

Guest room at the Omni Hotel at Independence Park

Then we had to figure out where we would stay, the night before and the night of our wedding.  Once, Mr. Ly actually said to me that he thought we would just come home after our wedding.  Ha. I quickly convinced him otherwise. (There was no way I was going to come home to a pile of laundry and a messy house the night of my wedding!) Before we could make any decisions, we needed to figure out the details of where our rehearsal dinner was going to be, and I needed to figure out where the girls were getting hair and makeup done. Once we got all those details settled, we decided it made the most sense to stay over the night before as well as the night of our wedding.

Mr. Ly and I are not staying together the night before, and having such a large bridal party, I knew I would need a big room for the girls to get ready.  When I finally called reservations, they told me they had no availability for any of their suites. Cue: freak out. I was so angry at myself for not booking our accommodations when I blocked the rooms way back in March. However, I decided before I had a total melt down I would speak to our coordinator, Chris, who had blocked the rooms for us.  Thankfully, they hold some of their rooms for their weddings, and they still had availability.  Chris was able to make some suggestions for our stay. We had a few options - the conference room attached to a guest room, three connecting guest rooms, a junior suite with a connecting guest room, or the penthouse suite. In considering pictures and video for getting ready, I was immediately drawn to the penthouse despite it being the most expensive option. The conference room would be the most cost efficient option, but I wasn't loving the idea of it for pictures. The attached rooms wouldn't give us the "together" feel I wanted for the morning, so that only left us with the penthouse.  Nice how that worked out, right?

I didn't think it was too fair that I would get to stay in the penthouse and Mr. Ly would not - and we only get one wedding night - might as well make it count! So we booked the penthouse for our wedding night as well.  The good news is since we are getting married on a Sunday, the penthouse doesn't cost nearly as much as it does the night before.  AND since it's enormous, if we want to continue the party after the reception is over, the penthouse is big enough for an after party!

There are no really good photos of just the penthouse, but there is this tour of it that I found on YouTube.  I don't know these people, and they don't give it the best review... but it gives you a really good idea of the size of the suite. Just imagine it filled with a bridal party, makeup, music, flowers, dresses, and champagne!

Penthouse Tour, Omni Park, Philadelphia 

I am really looking forward to our stay here, despite it costing us more than a regular room or a smaller suite.  Yes, those funds could be spent elsewhere and we could have just gotten ready in the conference room, and I'm sure I wouldn't miss out on any really spectacular photos, but this was one splurge I didn't want to give up.

Anyone else splurging on wedding weekend accommodations?

Fit to be tied, with lace and ribbons.

Our invitations are a work in progress right now, our main envelopes are off at the calligrapher, response envelopes at the printer, and the final inserts being proofed and printed! While we've had our actual invitations and response cards for over a month now, I've done not a thing with them until this week. With the intention of sending out our invites by the first week of November, I have a lot of work to do here with lining and banding the invitations together. 

I have been obsessed with the idea of lace detailing for the invitation suite for ages. I pinned this picture 48 weeks ago (that probably was days after getting engaged... possibly even before.): 

Photo by Martha Stewart Weddings via Intimate Weddings

And I crazy-love the look of lace belly bands, like this gorgeous one by Hive member jp0829: 

DIY Lace Wedding Invitations 

Or something incredibly elegant like this lace wrapped beauty: 

SHANNON Lace Tied Wedding Invitation by Lavender Paperie

Or something as simple as lace over cardstock, giving the band a bit of heft: 

Lace Detailed Wedding Invitation via Paper and Thread

I've been playing around a bit with some ideas and I think I might have just found a combination I love.  

I first tried a plain lace band, but I felt it was too flimsy to be a band by itself, unless we wanted to attach it to something else.  I love the simple elegance of it, but it just wasn't enough. 

I backed the lace with a pewter grosgrain ribbon, to give it a bit more heft and I found I really loved the look.  Everything about our invitation is very classic, and I felt that this band really matched the elegance we are striving to achieve. The best part is they are super easy to make, I made 18 tonight before I ran out of ribbon in just an hour or less. I think it's worth the effort. 

And taking a page from Mrs. Elk's book, I'll give you guys just a hint of what's to come!  

(a sneak peak at the inverse of our invitations) 

I have yet to decide if I want to line the envelopes or not.  I'm leaning more towards not, but we'll see if the inspiration strikes me in the time between getting our envelopes back from the calligrapher and sending them out.

What are your thoughts on belly bands & lined envelopes? Worth the effort or a waste of time?  

100 Days as a Miss.

Well, it's about that time. I'm just hours away from being in double digits from the wedding, and I can honestly say that I have hit a full scale freak-out mode with things that need to be done. Is it possible that my to-do list grows daily, and despite feeling really accomplished with the things we've done, I feel like there is a mountain waiting to be scaled ahead of me - and 99 days isn't nearly enough time.

Keep Calm by NotablyUnique

Things that are currently making my hair fall out (no really, my hair is falling out... more on that later.):

We are bringing our envelopes to the calligrapher this weekend, our invites are being sent out in a mere 3 weeks (HOLY CRAP).  We don't have our inserts yet for the invitations, and my biggest concern - despite ordering them all from the same place - is that they will somehow look horrendous all put together.

I bought a nectar-moon voucher from LivingSocial, only to find out that our travel date was JUST outside the expiration date. Our arrival date was the date the promotion expired, so I thought that we could arrive that day, and it would cover our 4 days of rest & relaxation.  I was wrong, and thankfully, LivingSocial has a great return policy. But, with less than 100 days to go, we're looking for something a bit more traditional (like Sandals), and will probably go through a travel agent instead of Groupon or LivingSocial.  I hate to abandon my original plans, but somethings feel a lot more certain when arranged by a professional. (and I'm tired of spending HOURS searching for deals & flights!)

We have what feels like a bajillion meetings/things to do in the next few weeks: the florist, the rabbi (oh that reminds me, we STILL don't have a Ketubah), the jeweler, the hotel (do we book the penthouse for two nights? one?), a chuppah, lighting, figuring out brunch options... My mind is really imploding at this point.

I keep multiple to do lists - at home, at work, in the car, and today I looked at the list I keep at work thinking that with all the things we got done in the past week I could surely cross one of those things off.  Nope. Not ONE. *headdesk*

Not to mention the tons of DIY crafts I have want to do, bridesmaids gifts to complete, a hairstylist to book. I could list things all.day.long.

Now, when all is said and done, in 101 days, it will be over. I will be a Mrs, married to the love of my life, and (hopefully) heading off to somewhere warm with a drink waiting for me. I'm trying to do something to keep me grounded for the next 100 days, so I've embarked on a photo project. I did a 365 photo project in 2010, where I took one picture everyday, no matter what.  Some of them were pretty terrible, but it was also the year that Mr. Ly and I started dating - so the first year of our relationship is VERY well documented, and I love that I have photographs for all of those memories.  I decided to do something similar for my last 100 days as a Miss.  I will be taking a picture everyday (Instagram is the BEST!) to document my 100 days leading up to the wedding.  I realize that I can't slow time down, that stress will continue to build but if I have these photos to look back on, maybe it will be more memorable than just the whirlwind leading up to the wedding.

101.  Unwinding
 (Getting a head start! And 2 glasses were drank, chocolate was saved for a true emergency!!) 

100. Blogging
Look familiar? I took a picture of my screen while blogging.

If you are interested in following, I'm @Lyreinlove on Instagram & Twitter!

Did anyone else do anything to commemorate their transition into double digits??

Just Desserts

The desserts from my shower warrant their own post because they were nothing short of spectacular.

I don't know if I ever really explained my love of owls to you guys, but owls are my thing.  They have been since about 2005, which is about 5 years before you could really find a ton of owl items in mainstream shops.  I used to rely mostly on ebay to build my owl collection, and now that you can walk into just about any store and find something owl-y, my collections have grown considerably.  I was worried initially that my shower would be owl themed. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but I was worried it would be more like a baby shower than a bridal shower - since owls are found on lots of baby items these days.  My worries were unfounded and my champagne themed shower was just the right amount of sophistication that I was hoping for.  However, there was no way that owls weren't going to make an appearance - and they did in a BIG way.

Without further ado, my shower cake.  Made by the ever-so-talented Diane Michelle:

Owls & Books - it's doesn't get much more "me" than that! 

 And the back was just as detailed:

Can you believe the detail on this? I love the veil on the bride owl! 

The cake was brought out in the middle of the present opening marathon, so that the dessert table could be set up and finished by the time I was done opening all the gifts.

Posing with my MOH

Making silly faces, maybe asking "Do I really have to cut this??" 

The first cut was hard, I didn't want to destroy such an amazing cake! 

Once I had made the first cut, the cake was whisked away and sliced for the dessert table.  As the gifts were finished, my bridesmaids announced that the dessert room was open, but I was to be the first to see it before anyone else.

I walked in and saw this:

My amazing dessert spread - all made by my MOH

Checking out the desserts - in awe. 

The cake was three tiers, with two flavors.  The top and bottom tier were pumpkin cake with caramel buttercream (I also love all things pumpkin.).  It was so delicious, it tasted as good as it looks!  The middle tier was an almond cake with rhubarb jam and amaretto buttercream. YUM. Some cakes look really nice but don't taste very good; Di's cakes are equal parts beautiful and delicious. 

Then we had the rest of the desserts:

Macarons - my new favorite dessert! 

Scones! (I didn't get to try these, but I am sure they were amazing.)

Mini Cupcakes with lemon cake and lemon almond buttercream 

The owls are edible, but there is no way I'm eating them. They are rice krispie treats covered with fondant.  Diane tells me that they will petrify and I can keep them forever, in a shadow box or some sort of cabinet and they will not go bad. 

 I got a nice sampling of all the desserts (except the scones. I meant to try them, but somehow I missed them.) and was so impressed by the amount of time and energy that went into the creation of this amazing dessert spread.

But wait... there's more!  My favors were also an edible dessert. Diane made the cookies, and some of my bridesmaids got together the Friday before shower to pipe and flood the cookies to make these adorable edible beauties! 

I clearly LOVED my favors. 

 I know the desserts at my shower were off the hook, and how extremely lucky I am to have a friend who can do this for me.  I can not even begin to express my gratitude to my bridesmaids for all the work they did, and can't wait to shower THEM with the gifts I've been gathering for them over the past year! My awesome bridesmaids really went above and beyond for my shower, and I love that these ladies will be standing beside Mr. Ly and me on the most important day of our lives.

A thank you note doesn't seem to be enough to express how much this shower meant to me, how do you thank those who go above and beyond your expectations with such generosity and kindness?