Fathers & Daughters

Sorry for my extended absence... life has a way of throwing you some crazy curve balls when you least expect them!

As the days close in on our big day, it's time to make some game day decisions - like what song I'll dance to with my dad.

Over the years, I've shared so many dances with my dad. From dances in the kitchen when I was little and dancing on his toes to bat mitzvahs and family weddings, they are special moments in my life I'll never forget.

Personal photos:
Clockwise from top left to bottom - at home in the kitchen (circa 1985?), my sister's bat mitzvah, my bat mitzvah (1993 - rocking that sweet bow), and my brother's bar mitzvah

The dance itself is very important, but finding the song was equally important to both of us. My dad has shaped my musical personality, he has always been on the cutting edge of the musical world, and has introduced me to some of my favorite musicians and always encouraged my siblings and I to be adventurous in our musical taste.  My dad's musical taste ranges from classic rock to hipster indie rock to heavy metal and almost everything in between. I knew finding a song to dance with my dad to at our wedding wasn't going to be the easiest task mostly because I knew how opinionated he'd be about it.  It needed to be something that wasn't too overdone, not too trendy but not too obscure that we couldn't actually dance to it. And I preferred that it would be lyrically moving.

I used a similar tactic that Mr. Ly and I used for choosing our first dance song. I sent him an email with 5 choices, and hoped he liked at least one of them.

My top 5 dance with my dad songs:

How You've Grown - 10,000 Maniacs
"My, how you've grown."
I remember that phrase from my childhood days too.
"Just wait and see."
I remember those words and how they chided me,
when patient was the hardest thing to be.
Because we can't make up for the time that we've lost,
I must let these memories provide."
It's a sweet sounding song... but the lyrics are more about missed time, not really about the bond between father & daughter.

When You Need Me - Bruce Springsteen
"When you need me call my name
'Cause without you my life just wouldn't be the same
If you want me come sunny skies or rain
When you need me just call my name"
I really liked this song, and I thought that Bruce Springsteen would be a good representation of our born and bred Jersey family. But when it came down to it, as much as we both like the song - it just didn't have the right fit for us. (As it so happens, it fits Mr. Ly and his mom much better - they might be using this for their mother/son dance!)

Father & Daughter - Paul Simon
"I'm gonna watch you shine
Gonna watch you grow
Gonna paint a sign
So you'll always know
As long as one and one is two wooo
There could never be a father who loved
His daughter more than I love you"

My dad would chose this song to dance to for every single father/daughter dance if he could.  But he danced with my sister to this song at her wedding, and he wanted to choose something that would be special for my wedding.  I was fine with sharing the song, and if we couldn't agree on anything else, we'd have gone with this too. 

You are the Sunshine of My Life - Stevie Wonder
"You are the sunshine of my life
That's why I'll always be around,
You are the apple of my eye,
Forever you'll stay in my heart"

I love this song, it reminds me of when I was little, and I definitely remember dancing to this song with my dad so many times.  I think it would be great - but my dad wanted something a little more current. 

Daughter - Louden Wainwright, III - WINNER! 

"every thing she sees she says she wants
every time she wants i see she gets
thats my daughter in the water
every thing she owns i bought her
every thing she owns
thats my daughter in the water
every thing she knows i taught her
every thing she knows
every thing i say she takes to heart
every time she takes she takes apart
thats my daughter in the water
every time she fell i caught her
every time she fell
thats my daughter in the water
i lost everytime i fought her
yeah i lost every time
every time she blinks she strikes somebody blind
every time she thinks, it blows her tiny mind
thats my daughter in the water
who'd of ever thought her (who'd of ever thought)
thats my daughter in the water
i lost everytime i fought her
yeah i lost every time"

This is the song my dad and I will dance to at my wedding, with all the songs out there this one spoke to both of us. It's such a good blend of what we both wanted, and I can picture us both singing along as we sway to the upbeat tune. It's the perfect song for me and my dad.

Does anyone else's dad put a lot of thought into your father/daughter dance?  What songs are you dancing to?